Assessment

One thing that universities need to do is answer the question, "Are our students learning what we want them to?" The process by which that answer is found is called "assessment," and the answers are supposed to inform us of where we need to make changes in our programming. I understand the goals of assessment, but I often get frustrated by the language and culture of assessment, and I often lament that for many, the process is more about the data than it is about using the data to make positive changes to programs. Furthermore, assessment involves lots of data gathering and analysis, both of which tend to happen at the busiest times of the semester. Isn't it serendipitous, then, that I am the semi-official department assessment coordinator?

Recently one of my colleagues who has been doing mostly administrative work decided to return to the department full time.  Last night, Judy emailed me and asked if she could take over as department assessment coordinator.  Here was my response, lifted wholesale from a source much more talented than I:

“Why, it’s you, Judy! I warn’t noticing.”

“Say - I’m going in a -swimming, I am. Don’t you wish you could? But of course you’d druther do assessment - wouldn’t you? Course you would!”

Al contemplated the woman a bit, and said:

“What do you call work?”

“Why, ain’t that work?”

Al resumed his assessing, and answered carelessly:

“Well, maybe it is, and maybe it ain’t. All I know it suits Alan Grant.”

“Oh, come now, you don’t mean to let on that you like it?”

The magic assessment pen continued to move.

“Like it? Well, I don’t see why I oughtn’t to like it. Does a guy get a chance to assess learning outcomes every day?”

That put the thing in a new light. Judy stopped nibbling her apple. Al swept his pen daintily back and forth - leaned back to note the effect - added a touch here and there - criticized the effect again - Judy watching every move and getting more and more interested, more and more absorbed. Presently she said:

“Say, Al, let me assess a little.”

Al considered, was about to consent; but he altered his mind:

“No-no-I reckon it wouldn’t hardly do, Judy. You see, Dean Flaherty’s awful particular about this summative assessment - right here in the public eye, you know - and if it was just low-level formative assessment, I wouldn’t mind, and he wouldn’t. Yes, he’s awful particular about summative assessment; it’s got to be done very careful; I recon there ain’t one person in a thousand, maybe two thousand, that can do it the way it’s got to be done.”

“No-is that so? Oh, come now - lemme try. Only just a little - I’d let you, if you was me, Al.”

“Judy, I’d like to, honest injun; but Dean Flaherty - well, Gary wanted to do it, but he wouldn’t let him; Kevin wanted to do it, and he wouldn’t let Kevin. Now, don’t you see how I’ fixed? If you was to tackle assessment and anything was to happen to it --”

“Oh, shucks, I’ll be just as careful. Now lemme try. Say - I’ll give you the core of my apple.”

“Well, here - No, Judy, no you don’t. I’m afeared --”

“I’ll give you all of it!”

Al gave up the assessment pen with reluctance in his face, but alacrity in his heart. And while Judy worked and sweated over the assessment, the retired department assessment coordinator sat on a barrel in the shade close by, dangled his legs, munched his apple, and planned the slaughter of more innocents.